The Difference We Make (Those who can do more...well, they teach)

Have I told you lately

About the Difference You Make in my Life

Have I?

How You're always there and you always care

In My Life, Have I?

Even though I may not always show

I just wanted you to know. that

Even though I haven't told you

You Make a Difference In My Life

 

The year was 1993, give or take.

I had been teaching about 3 years, give or take.

I had been an aspiring piano player and songwriter for most of my youth.

Three years into the profession, I realized I certainly wasn't a natural, as a teacher that is. I also wasn't sure that I hadn't wasted four years of my life on a college education. Honestly, I went into education because I enjoyed working with kids, not because I loved school. I went into special education, because I wanted to help kids with challenges, similar to some of the challenges I grew up with.

During this period, starting at about teaching year 3, I questioned everything about who and what I was. Special Education, at least the first few years in, proved to be a little more than pushing papers for the bureaucrats, and teaching kids if there was any more time left, after the paperwork looked pretty.

It was about at this time that my path crossed with Diane Catterall, the school's choir teacher. She happened to be looking for an accompanyist, and I was looking for some meaning in my life. I wasn't a great pianist, but at that point in my life, I had a passion for music and for songwriting. It was something I was recognized for, and it made me feel good about myself. After a couple concerts playing little diddys that " someone" came up with, I thought to myself, " This school needs a school song... a decent school song." So I set upon my task of writing the next school song.

What evolved, turned out to be a tribute to the teachers I worked with, to my stepfather, and educator and a role model who inspired me. What evolved, turned out to be, in retrospect, 20 years later, an affirmation to myself, for myself, that teaching is about so much more than academics:

Readin' Writin' and arithmetic
You Think That's All You do
Savin' Children
Turnin' Lives around
Though no one ever knew
Yes, you are the heroes
You're the ones behind the scene
You are the heroes
On Your shoulders we can lean
You're an example
of what I'd like to be
Teacher you're a hero to me.

What I created, turned out to be a story, told from the perspective of a student to his or her teacher, about the difference that teacher made in the child's life, that went far beyond what a teacher could give a student from any book.

Interestingly, when I now think back to the teacher who made a difference in my life, in fact, it wasn't her academic skill that I will always remember. It certainly wasn't her remarkable ability to get me to understand Geometry, for that would have taken a miracle. What I will always remember about Mrs. Schmidt, my 9th and 10th grade math teacher, was that she cared enough to stay after school and give me extra help, for days, for weeks. What I will always remember about Mrs. Schmidt, was how she came up to me after I had gotten a 32 ( out of 100) on the geometry Regents exam, she gave me a big hug, and said, " Mike. Anyone else, I would say we knuckle down and study and re-take that exam. Honestly, Mike, I don't think you're going to do any better." The investment Mrs. Schmidt had in me went beyond mathematics, and academic achievement. Mrs. Schmidt believed in and cared about me.

Only 3 years into teaching, my song  was foreshadowing of what my career would prove to be, in the lives of kids, that I wouldn't start to recognize until years later.

There was Brian, a middle school student I taught during year two of my career, that I caught up with on Facebook 20 years later as an adult, with a wife, and baby on the way.

Hey Mr. Lefko, man its been forever. I never thought I'd ever hear from you again, and here you are. wow! Similar to what you said there are very few teachers that stand out in my mind. But you made a lasting impression. If every teacher I had would have been as dedicated and as caring as you school would have been a whole lot easier. You proved that it was possible to be a teacher and a friend. And that learning was actually fun. After I left Garner Middle I went to Garner senior High and did two years there barly passing because I felt it was more Important to make people laugh then to learn. Then I moved to Wisconsin with my mom and continued school there. After about two years of freezing my ass off I decided to come back to North Carolina. When I moved back Here I got and apt. and started taking some classes at Wake Tech. Then at about 20 I met a girl and got Married we stayed together for about 11 years and then parted ways. We tried to make things work but from the time we got married to the time we split we were two completely different people. We didn't have any children but we did have a house. With a little luck and lots of money I was able to keep the house. Anyway I picked up the pieces and kept going. And along the way I did some soul searching and tried to figure out who I was. I believe I'm closer to knowing that now than I ever was in the past. And I met a great girl who is truly wonderful and in a lot of ways just like me. We don't have any children yet but can't wait to have some. As far as work goes I worked in the bottled water business doing many different jobs for 8 years. Then I wanted a change and managed a furniture store for 5 years. Then the store went out of business and I went back to working at a bottled water company as a route driver.This is not what I want to do forever but it pays the bills. I lost touch with many of my old friends from school but there are few here on facebook. Duke is one of them and I think there may be one or two more. Well I hope that gave you a little glimse into my life. Its been really cool catching up with you. If your ever going to be Raleigh let me know so we can have lunch or somthing. ttyl. Your buddy, Brian

So, in spite of the fact that at year two I knew absolutely nothing about teaching, I made a lasting impression on Brian. I'd like to think that I had a little to do with making his journey a little bit more fun, and school a little bit more hopeful.

There was Ricco. I actually heard from Ricco out of the blue, also on Facebook, a few months ago. I had taught him back in 1st grade, back in 93. He, too, is now an adult.

Hey Mr Lefko im been doing good over the years i finish school i even went back to school to build houses and i

finish that now im in college now doing very well still shy but alot better. You was the best teacher i ever had ever

now as i grow up you was the best you never look down on me i hope the kids you are working with see how

wonderful you are and see that they got a great teacher and friend. Got alot of respect and love for you, be great

like you are and get back at me when you can.

 

I was the "best teacher" he " ever had". Interestingly two students, from two totally different schools, from two very different backgrounds called me "a great teacher and a friend". I certainly didn't think I was a great teacher, academically speaking. Even today, after 20 + years under my belt, I consider myself decent, and I have to work damn hard at it. I believe I am making differences in the lives of young people, but I believe it goes beyond simply skills.

 

So perhaps there is more to being a good teacher than providing strong academics? Not that academics aren't important. Perhaps there is more to a memorable, transformative educational experience than can be conveyed through a textbook.

 

Readin' Writin' and arithmetic

Just part of what you do

buildin' the future

each child's hand you take

I bet you never knew.

 

This blog entry is dedicated to all the teachers I have known and worked with past and present, who have given more of themselves, than simply knowledge, to a child.
It is also dedicated to the talented campus and field instructors at SOAR, who prove every day, that you don't have to be trained as a teacher, to help children grow.

Writing Is Telling A Good Story - English @ The Academy Part I

The Art of Telling a Story

Writing Is Telling A Good Story - English @ The Academy Part I

 

Here at SOAR and The Academy, if students don't come in with stories to tell, they'll surely pick up some tales along the way. As I eluded to on my last Facebook post, this past holiday season, I decided to take a long hard look at why I always have loved writing so much, while so many of my students of the past 20 years detest it. One of the key ideas I honed in on was this fact, and I had been doing it myself more less for years, that writing is no longer taught, in large part in schools, but rather it is assigned, and assessed.

I've long contended that in an age of accountability where the standardized test is king, what is lost in school is a passion for teaching and a love for learning, if one is not extremely diligent to make certain that doesn't happen.

I decided to approach writing from a whole new angle coming back to the Academy for the Spring semester. As most of you know, I have been Academic Director for a little over two years. Most of the processes and procedures, academically speaking, were in place before I got here. Over the past two years, I have been evaluating, tweaking, adjusting, and revamping where necessary, so that our students get the most out of their education, and parents and families get the most bang for their buck.

The first things to go were what had become known as "reading logs" or the modern version of what we knew as kids as the book report. This was a large part of the English curriculum for a time. I just knew there were better things students could be doing with their time. Students still read independent novels, and they participate in " book share", where they actually get to discuss their books, or aspects of their books with their classmates, whereby they have the opportunity to showcase a book that they really enjoy, and expose it to other potential readers at the same time. The message: Reading is fun, sharing what you read is fun. Written reflection on a book can be useful, but not simply for the purpose of a grade in the grade book.

The second thing to go were a letter home per week. This, initially, I got a little resistance on, and I could understand why. Talk of taking away a staple in The Academy's curriculum that allowed children and their families to connect was a sensitive topic. Students still would write a letter home while out on expedition, but to take the time and the energy to write a letter a week, when there were so many other things to write, I simply felt was not the best use of a student's time in English. It's not that I'm not sentimental. It's not that I am heartless and don't want kids writing to their folks. It's just that, in an age of email, skype, blogging and Facebook, I felt our English time could be better spent learning about writing, and enjoying the process, rather than simply completing assignments.

Again, in an age of accountability, where grades in the grade book are a measure of a teacher's success, I was taking a chance, giving students the opportunity and the structure to " play around with writing" and to " practice", when the result would most likely be, not only no immediate grades in the grade book, but no immediate products to show to parents. When parents don't see their kids every day, work products are the only hard evidence they have that learning is taking place, and progress is occurring. I was, and am asking for their trust.

So, now that I've decided what we're not doing, it was time to plan what we would be doing. I knew from the start, that we would be focusing on at least the 4 genres of writing including narrative, expository, persuasive, and compare/contrast writing, for those were the most common, and most used genres in schools today.

But where to start? I started where I usually start in the 21st century when I don't know where to start. I googled it. I began with the narrative. Narrative writing means, essentially, writing that tells a story. It might be fiction, or non-fiction. The main feature of narrative writing is that it spans time and has a plot--something happens that keeps readers reading to see what's next. A narrative often (but certainly not always) is written in chronological order. Stories can be about our own experiences, other people ( biographies) , or even about stories you have read(summaries). The final point I read about a narrative is that it makes its point by telling a story – In the end it has a morale or a lesson learned.

This was the perfect place to start. As I had mentioned earlier, most students come to SOAR with their share of stories. If they are lacking any tales to tell, the adventures they have while at SOAR, most certainly provide them plenty of material for  some great stories. Ask them about their Expedition Writer's Notebooks.

Don't misunderstand. Many of the students we have at The Academy this semester, actually do enjoy writing. So the task was how to grow their skills as writers, while at the same time turning some students on to it who didn't like to write.

We began by talking about writing, and what students liked and disliked about writing. Almost unanimously, students stated that they enjoyed writing on self- selected topics, but found it more challenging to write on topics assigned by teachers. Knowing full well, that teachers have always assigned writing, and always would assign writing, and not wanting to burst their bubble, I knew from experience, that there is a way that creative writers can take an otherwise mundane topic, and make it their own. I've done it successfully, and had fun doing it. College professors actually enjoyed reading it. We weren't there yet.

We took grading out of the picture. Writing is not about a grade. I asked students to give examples of writing that they enjoyed. We then segued  into the narrative, or the art of telling a story. I asked students to think of their own territory, and what the word meant to them. They came up with adjectives like comfortable, safe, familiar, fun. Then I asked them to make a list in their expedition writer's notebooks of at least 10 personal writing territories, or things that were familiar to them, that would make for a good story. From there, I took another play from Kelly Gallagher's playbook http://kellygallagher.org/ where I used a funnelling graphic organizer strategy to take a topic of my own, and funnel down from general to specific. I then modelled an oral story tell to emphasize that story telling can be fun. This, is the story I told. I actually wrote it slightly different than I told it, intentionally, to model different ways to lead into a story.

 

You Aren't As Smart as You Think You Are ( at 16) and How I Learned That fact.

"Thumpbmpbmpbmpbmp. Crash!" The car stopped instantly. It had been like being abruptly woken out of a dream. The moments prior, everything had been, fine, great in fact. Then it was if everything was moving in slow motion as the cars tires hit the ruts in that old dirt road, and everything was spinning, spinning, spinning. The last thing that went through my mind before we hit were my mom's words, " Please Michael, be careful with my car, it's the only one I have... it's the only one I have... It's the only one I have..." I never thought I would become a statistic.

It was a crisp winter's evening in New York, the state, not the city. The year was around  1985. Life was good. No, Life was great. I had my driver's license for a week now. I was on top of the world. Nothing was going to stop me now. Tonight was the high school holiday band concert, and I was headed to school to meet some friends, and enjoy  some time out.

"Mom. Can I borrow your car tonight to drive to the concert?" I eagerly asked my mom, in the hopes that she would say yes.

Driving, was something I had looked forward to since I was a toddler sitting on the lap of my grandfather as he let me steer his car. Now, I had the power and the privelege within my grasp. All I needed were the keys.

Reluctantly my mother conceded. She knew this moment was inevitable. In retrospect, now, as a parent myself, I can only imagine she hoped for the best, but feared the worst. She said to me,

"Michael. Please be careful with my car. It's the only one I've got."

I don't remember the exact conversation, for it was over 25 years ago now, but I am certain I agreed to comply with he one request.  Overall I was a pretty responsible teenager. I was just glad to have the keys to that little Dodge Colt. With 4 on the floor, it was allo the power a kid like me needed.

I made it to the concert without incident, parked the car, and enjoyed an evening of music and other high school festivities. I truly think I was more excited about the trip, than I was the destination.

After the concert, I walked through the band room, and saw some friends of mine.

" Anybody want a ride?" I inquired with a big smile on my face, jingling the keys in my left hand.

A fellow student and friend of mine, Dave piped up, " Yeah sure. I'll take a ride."

After doing a second check to be certain there wasn't anyone else who would be stranded, in the absence of my services and excellent driving skills, we headed to the parking lot. Dave and I got into the car, and we were off.

What is it about being 16 and driving a car that is so exciting and so appealing? I can relate to it to this day, but I am uncertain if I understand what it was. I am also uncertain as to what it was that  made me decide to take the scenic route home that night. It was a straight shot down route 35 from the school into town, to where Dave lived. In 20 minutes, we'd be there. That would be two easy. I had the car, and I had the night. I wasn't going to give that up that soon.

We took a left turn onto Reservior Road  which took us over a huge bridge which was the dam for the town's water supply. It certainly was more scenic, and allowed me to stay behind the wheel a little bit longer that evening.

Like many teens, I felt invincible. As we made a sharp right hand turn where the pavement turned to dirt, I took it too fast, intentionally, and let the tail of the small car dishtail behind me. This was fun. I don't remember the conversation that took place between Dave and I, or even if we talked. As I downshifted and picked up speed, I decided to play with the steering wheel a bit, rocking the car to and fro on the road. Heck this was fun. I don't even remember thinking about the fact that this could be dangerous. It simply didn't occur to me, until about 2 minutes later, when it was over.

Rocking the wheel, mid rock, I hit some ruts in the old dirt road:

"Thumpbmpbmpbmpbmp." Then, in an instant I saw it happen. It was all too fast to react, yet it seemed like it was happening in slow motion, the rear of the car fishtailed out from behind me, and pointed the car toward the embankment on the side of the road, and I hit!

The car stopped in an instant, and the interior lights flickered as if they were going to go out. I checked myself. I checked Dave. All in one piece. We didn't hit that hard. it was just a bump. This was going to be all right.

Dave and I exited the vehicle to assess the situation. Note, I didn't say damage, because I was certain this was just a scratch. As I moved to the front of the car, by the light of the headlights I could see the front tires spinning. They had completely left the ground, and the bumper was hanging on an embankment.

Luckily for me, it was a compact car. All I would have to do is get under the bumper and rock the car off the embankment. Easy. Well I underestimated the weight of a compact car, and overestimated  how much I had been working out. That car wasn't going anywhere.

This is when I learned, just by chance, Dave worked part- time for the local tow-truck company. God hadn't completely foresaken me. Actually it had nothing to do with GOD. This one was all my fault.

We hiked into town, 30 minutes of what would have been a 3 minute drive for Dave to get the tow truck. As I saw Dave pull away from my house with mom's car in tow on the back, those words, again echoed in my ears, " Michael. Please be careful with my car. It's the only one I have..." I knew it was time to pay the piper, as I climbed the stairs to my mother's bedroom where she ususally read before going to bed. I entered the room. What follows is not an exact transcript of our conversation, as I don't remember exactly what was said. Remember, this was 25 years ago.

"Mom. You're not going to believe this. I am so sorry... I was driving Dave home and everything was fine..."

And then it hit me like bolt of lightening.

" And a deer jumped out infront of the car, and I had to perform and evasive maneuvre to avoid the deer and when drove up on an embankment!!!!"

I don't remember the rest of the conversation, or exactly how much trouble I had gotten in, but I do remember, that it was the deer's fault and not mine.

One thing I neglected to mention in the story so far, was that I was always somewhat of a "mama's boy", and if there was one person in the world I couldn't lie to, it was my mother. My story lasted about 10 minutes until the weight of the guilt of lying to my mother was too heavy to bear, and I came clean. I was glad I did.

$3000.00 later the body shop was able to straighten the frame of the car which I had bent when I hit the embankment.

I learned a few lessons that night. One being, lying gets you nowhere, and lying to your parents, even if you can do it, isn't a good idea. Second, you're not as good a driver as you think you are when you've had your license for a week. Last, with the statistics on teen drivers as they are, I am lucky to not be dead. I could have gone over the side of the bridge.

Lessons I plan to teach with this story:

Different ways to lead into a story. In this case, I dropped the reader into the middle of the action, rather than a simply chronological tell, like I told it to the class.

Use of Dialogue to make a story more interesting.

Ending a narrative with a morale of lessons learned.

The ideas that this is just one draft of this story, and that I may choose to rewrite it, revise it, and make changes to it to make it better, Driving home that writing is a process that can be fun, and it doesn't simply have to be a task, to get done.

We'll pick up on other literary elements within the context of the story, and through the student's own writings.

 

The main points I aim to drive home with our writing this semester:

A) It doesn't have to be " work"

B) It can be fun.

C) There is no right or wrong

D) We can always improve our writing. It doesn't have to be perfect.

 

Once we've mastered these points, there is no limit to what we can accomplish.

 

Look for your kids 1st narratives in the blogs very shortly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Difference We Make ( "we" means all of us... yes... the parents too...)

Inspiration is where you find it. This post is to be shared with all my colleagues, who, whether they realize it or not, make this kind of a difference in kids lives every day they come to work. This is what it's all about.

 I had just come off a day that was a great day overall. We now have four teams on campus at The Academy, so the teachers and staff are busier than ever. I had made promises to myself this semester that I wasn't going to make promises to students and their parents that we couldn't realistically fulfill. Yet I also made many promises to students and their parents that I felt we could fulfill, and we needed to fulfill, to  be truly success oriented for our kids.

This day, this semester even. I hadn't felt as organized as I usually do, but I was deep in the trenches every minute of every day, working with kids, connecting with kids, and helping them  recognize their Personal Legends. We were working with students grade 6 - 12 and some Post- graduates, helping them get ready for their next steps. It was all starting to gel.

But it isn't easy, and just because you work hard and feel like you're being successful doesn't mean that you can make all of the people happy all of the time. I have always maintained that I am there for the families as much as I am for the kids, but today was a challenge to that conviction.  For this day I was embroiled with a parent over what was best for their child. As a parent myself, I always try to look at things from both an educators perspective and a parents, because I know what a difficult job it is to be a parent. The gist of the conversation centered around a common theme I have encountered during my career; parents wanting a certain thing, and calling into question my professional judgment because they feel that they know what is better, educationally for their child.  In this case, I held strong to my convictions as to what was better educationally, and emotionally for the child, as we held our phone conference, and the child was brought to tears because the parents wasn't truly hearing what the child needed from their parent. I wish that parents and families would truly trust the educators whom their entrust their children to. I understand from a parent's perspective that that respect has to be earned.

At the end of our conversation, the child was emotionally distraught, and we hadn't yet reached a mutually acceptable solution to the issue. I tried to convey to the parent that growth and self-realization was what we were after in this moment, not perfection, and that we had achieved both of those things. I tried to get this parent to acknowledge the positives in their child and in their child's work, and to realize, as was stated in  a recent contemporary movie, " Everything will be all right in the end... so if everything is not all right, we haven't yet reached the end." At the end of the conversation, we hadn't agreed to disagree, and the parent's next step was to contact my supervisors Joe, and John Willson. This is ok, because I feel, from a parent's perspective, if you don't get the answers you want or feel you need, you need to go to the top.

At the end of the day, as I was packing to go home for the weekend, I decided to check Facebook, as I do rarely now, as I simply don't have the time. I was surprised by a message from an old student of mine from the inner city projects, who I first taught in 1st grade, back almost 20 years ago. He, obviously, is an adult now. It affirmed for me the idea that "Everything will be all right in the end... so if everything is not all right, we haven't yet reached the end." As parents and educators we may not always get the answers or results that we feel we want or we need at the time, and that the fruits of our labor may not be seen until years to come. I think what he says sums it up best, so I wanted to share it with you. This, again, is dedicated to all the educators I work with, who do, infact make this same difference every day. "R" writes:

Thought about you often over the years.

Hey Mr Lefko im been doing good over the years i finish school i even went back to school to build houses and i 

finish that now im in college now doing very well still shy but alot better. You was the best teacher i ever had ever

 now as i grow up you was the best you never look down on me i hope the kids you are working with see how 

wonderful you are and see that they got a great teacher and friend. Got alot of respect and love for you, be great

 like you are and get back at me when you can.

Grammatical errors aside, I hope you see that in school, it isn't always the academics that are the most important. I can't wait to write him back, and maybe meet him for coffee or something.

Thank God I Have Normal Kids & What To Do When That Illusion is Shattered

"Thank God I Have Normal Kids!" (& What I Do When That Illusion is Shattered)

 

 

 

 

Working in education for a long time, I've worked with  many kids, probably had contact with hundreds, all great kids, but not a single one of them normal. Let me clarify, I have come to believe that there is no such thing as normal. Kids are individuals, just like the rest of us, and that being the case, they each come with their own unique set of characteristics and quirks, that make them uniquely who they are.

 

So perhaps a better way to describe my thankfulness, is that for roughly 15+ years, I have, with my wife been in the process of raising two beautiful girls, who are well-rounded, good students, who have friends, have their health, and were generally issue-free and low maintenance. Does that mean raising them has been easy? Absolutely not. I have, however, over the years, been thankful that my kids haven't had any serious struggles, like a lot of the kids I've worked with in the schools, and at SOAR.

 

My sense of normalcy was shattered over the past few weeks. One of my kids was diagnosed with an eating disorder. What started out over months, as healthy eating, turned into restricting calories, and exercising a lot. It turned into not eating, and fighting over meals. I  won't get into the nitty gritty, but the diagnosis was Anorexia Nervosa.

 

I won't say our world was turned upside down, but I knew we had to relinquish control to the professionals, the experts, and trust that they know what is best for our child, in much the same way parents turn to the folks at SOAR in faith, that they know and will do what is in the best interest of their child.

 

What follows is a generalization, and in no way intends to condemn the entire medical profession, but I am pissed. You don't have to be a counseler, therapist or psychiatrist to know that eating disorders have a psychological origin that has to be addressed, for recovery to begin. This is what I have witnessed so far, knowing that each incident of all my child's needs not being met, is, no doubt, being billed, heavily.

 



 

The doctors, and the interns all see us on " their rounds", which means after a day or so you can't keep track of all the doctors, other than to refer to them as " The lady doctor" or " The doctor with the beard who obviously goes cas on Satyrday" Every doctor comes in, after reviewing the chart, and my daughter's vitals, giving us all an update that lasts a few minutes at best. Some come in and actually have the gall to say that they "don't have any new information", and leave within a few minutes, leaving me with the realization, "damn, they just charged us for that?"

 

I question my daughter's treatment, which consists of vitals checks, eating and repeating. I say to the doctor of the hour that I feel that there is a psychological component that isn't being addressed here, that I feel is vital to my daughter's recovery process. Now I sound more like the doctor than the doctor. The doctor's response, " Our system, unfortunately isn't set up to provide that. Your daughter is in the hospital for nutrition and medical stabilization. I wish we were set up to do more, but unfortunately we aren't." He went on to tell me the sob story of how the psychiatrists at the hospital were extremely stretched and over booked, and proceeded to tell me how the kid who was diagnosed with Leukemia yesterday takes priority.

 

This is what I have come to expect of the bureaucracy of the public sector, but not of medical professionals with years of training in the double digits, and undoubtedly salaries in the six figures. I begin to think of that old expression, " You get what you pay for, " and how it obviously doesn't apply here at this hospital. In fact, I know we are going to be paying through the nose, for what  I'm uncertain. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stomach the itemized bill.

 

My daughter's day consists of ( when I am there to witness it) reading, watching TV, playing an occasional board, game, an occasional crafts class, a wheelchair ride to the roof garden or the main lobby, neither of which have any entertainment value whatsoever.

 

She is supervised around the clock with personnel referred to as "sitters". These folks are not full- fledged nurses, though they are trained to check vitals, whose job it is to monitor my daughter around the clock, to make sure she doesn't do anything she isn't supposed to do. I won't get into the specifics of that, as they haven't really either.

 

She is bored, and tired of eating what she considers to be less than healthy caloric-high foods, to get her weight and her vital signs back to normal. What these medical professionals are neglecting, in my professional opinion, is the " whole" child. I mean they are a children's hospital for cryin out loud. Isn't this stuff in Psych 101?

 

These sitters, watch TV with her, check her vitals occasionally, and praise her for doing a good job eating. They offer nothing more than that and it is obvious that they aren't trained to do so. I can't wait to see what their  services bill out to.

 

She has been a good sport for a while, but on day 6 of her hospital stay, she is having a hard time with them increasing her calories and portion sizes each day, to well what is beyond normal, because that is what is needed to get her body back to physiological health. She is sick and tired of eating huge portions of food, and while she doesn't say it in these exact words, is sick and tired of them stuffing her full of food without even glossing over the underlying problem.

 

Her primary care doctor for eating disorders rationalizes that until my daughter is well-nourished, she isn't necessarily thinking clearly, and thus, wouldn't benefit to the fullest extent from therapy.

 

I often take a little bit to process information, so my comebacks aren't always what I would like them to be. Though my training doesn't have an ounce of medicine in it, beyond my high school biology classes, as an educator, someone who works intensely with children, it is my professional opinon that this hospital, these doctors are half-assing it. Whether intentional or not, they are not, and have not been considering the "whole" child and what the " whole" child needs, like we do at SOAR, and the Academy at SOAR.

 

The result is, that my daughter's vitals are almost normal, so we suspect they will say she is " ready" to come home very soon. We know, and it's not brain surgery to figure this one out, that when our daughter texts us, when we are not at the hospital, and tells us to " take me home," and that "If they continue to make her me more than I am ready to eat, rather than doing it gradually, I am going to stop eating as soon as I get home," that the doctors with all their medical degrees, and all their wisdom, have done little more than put a proverbal bandaid on a gaping wound.

 

Why, you may ask, do I tell such a personal story? What's my point? This story gets to the heart of what we do at SOAR and at The Academy at SOAR. It's what makes us special, what makes us unique. We do what medical professionals, who bill and are paid multiples of what we charge and get paid don't do. We care for the whole child, and the whole family.

 

We take the time, no matter how long it takes, to meet a child's needs, to address the needs of a family. We don't simply see our kids "on rounds", read a chart, make a diagnosis, and prescribe a treatment. We do all that, and then we treat the whole child, every day, all day long using whatever it takes to be successful.

 

It isn't simply good enough to focus on one aspect of a child/student's well-being, so that they are " good enough" to go home. We want to give them the tools and the strategies to "make it" there.

 

To this day, I don't think I truly had an appreciation for what we do for kids, and for families here at SOAR. We go the extra mile, and do beyond what is expected, even if it stretches us to a point where we can stretch no more. Why do we do it? It's the right thing to do, and its making a difference.

 

Perhaps the doctors can learn a thing or two from the folks at SOAR. Chances are they won't. We are what we are, and do what we do, because we are a unique breed. It just makes me angry, damn it. When you are talking about your child's life and wellbeing, you want folks to be real with you, but you shouldn't have to settle for less than the best, and lame-ass excuses.

 



 

 

What to Expect When You're Expecting... Results

 

As a SOAR and an Academy at SOAR parent, you want it all. This year I am thrilled to say I have heard from many pleased parents, who have told us their child loves school and learning for the first time, and that their kids feel successful.

 

However, there have been some parents I've spoken to lately who I feel we haven't met their expectations with their children's academics. I take the blame for that. In my efforts to please the client and meet everyone's needs, I've become a little less than real, and I need to be a little more upfront about what we do and can't do, for good reasons.  Perhaps I haven't been perfectly clear.

 

The Academy at SOAR is not an ordinary school. It is an extrordinary school. The Academics are important and they are strong. But the academics are not what makes SOAR and The Academy special. Strange as it sounds coming from the Academic Director, academics are not the most important part.

 

It is everything else that SOAR gives kids besides traditional academics that makes S0AR  special.

 

Yes, we've gained a reputation that precedes us, which is why perhaps people come to SOAR and the academy expecting to pick their child's education off a menu of what they want in a perfect world. Even at SOAR it doesn't work quite like that.

 

Here's how it works. I don't tell you how it works because I have decreed it, for I have only been at SOAR for a mere two years.

 

SOAR is what it is, because their are student needs not being fulfilled by traditional schools, whether they be public or private.

 

SOAR is what it is, because traditional methods of traditional instruction delivered in traditional ways, with traditional measures to show for it don't work with non- traditional students.

 

I'm not saying that doing what has always been done and expecting miraculous results is the defition of insanity. It is just time for a reality check, for myself included. We can't bt definition of who we are do things the way they have traditionally been done. Otherwise, what option would that really provide your kids.

 

So what can you expect? You may have to strap yourself in for an expectation shift.

 



 

 

 

Traditional schools are traditional results oriented, where the measure of success is a product, usually a test score. I've had parents tell me what their children have done at" other" schools, thereby implying, or stating directly what they expect to see coming from their child at SOAR. Well, I will say again, that is not how it works.I mean no disrespect when I say this.  We don't define success in merely traditional senses. That is not to say we don't have high standards for student academics. When a parent tells me what there child accomplished at "another school" implying that we are in some way missing the mark, I want to say to them, "and now you are at The Academy at SOAR, so how did that other school work for ya?" But I don't, because that would be too blunt.

 

Kids,students come to SOAR for no other reason than things didn't work out where they came from. So why, logically, would we do things at SOAR, the way the schools they came from did it?

 



 Do I need to say it?

Now I know that SOAR parents want their child to not get behind in school, stay on track for graduation, and gain the skills necessary to be successful now and in the future, wherever they are headed. Parents want to know their child is going to get the credits they need. I don't fault parents for that, and I don't say that isn't one of our goals with your child. It is but "one" of the goals.

 

 At SOAR, we are Process oriented, and "Success Oriented" as much as Product oriented. We are charged with the task of meeting the need of the whole child, something traditional school environments don't always seem so concerned with.

 

At SOAR we have the flexibility, the skills and resources to meet ALL our students, YOUR CHILD'S needs. That means, however, that we have a much bigger job to do, and the same ole' 24 hours a day to do it. So sometimes we have to prioritize. And our priorities aren't always the same as your traditional schools...what you're used to.

 

But, I reitterate, isn't that why you picked SOAR when you found SOAR? Because we offered something different.

 

Case and Point. On expedition in DC last night, our team had nightly meeting which involved highlights from the day, pluses and deltas (things we did good and things we could do better) among other processing activities. As the academic guy, I've provided not only the plans but the implementation of the academics this expedition. We were going to work into nightly meeting a processing of prompts responded to, reflections of things learned and experience not to forget from our expedition logs.

 

(Expedition logs are a personal journal or diary of sorts, where students write, not specifically for a grade, but to reflect and gather written snapshots of their adventures- an component of project- based learning)

 

The team had some interpersonal issues. They had some conflicts that they needed to work through and it got heated. I decided fairly quickly that I was tossing academics (I.e. Expedition logs) out the window for the evening. Your kids were working through some social and team issues that were more primary needs.It's along the same lines as kids not being able to do their best work if they haven't had a good nutritious meal.If we don't nourish the soul, the mind can't do its best on academics. A traditional school doesn't do that.

 

I had another student on another day whose parents expected to see more high quality writing samples from their student. This student had been writing quite well in his expedition log. This student was demonstrating the ability to be a strong leader within his team. Verbally, he was demonstrating that he is as sharp as they come. He wasn't writing the 5 paragraph essay on a weekly basis yet. The parent was concerned. How can I help this parent to understand that what their child is gaining both in school and out of school is so much more valuable than a perfect essay a week. I understand. When you're not with your child everyday, work products are all you have to judge the quality of their education. That, and my word.

 

There was another parent with a similar concern. Their child did not have writing samples of a multi-paragraph essay. This student struggled with handwriting and was becoming more and more willing to word process. I was working on praising the " successive approximations" of the eventual goal of that multi-paragraph paper, but the student wasn't there yet. And that was ok. This particular student was growing socially within the team and the academic setting, was doing his work, and participating wonderfully in class. Something he didn't do at the beginning. Another example of how the success or lack-there-of is being measured traditionally, when a SOAR education doesn't fit the traditional mold. Again, when you're not with your child everyday, work products are all you have to judge the quality of their education. That, and my word.

 

So what is my message here? I have seen, in just a short time at SOAR as the Academic Director for The Academy at SOAR how SOAR changes kids lives in ways that go so far beyond academics it's not even funny. Academics are important, and we are doing them better than ever before.

 

This is what I ask. Trust us. But don't simply take my word for anything. Call me. Email me. Ask me questions. Ask any of us questions. Grill us. Stay connected.

 

 

 

Know that if you don't get the answer from us that you would expect from a traditional school, or the results you would expect from a traditional school, in a perfect world with your child, that it is not bad, or deficient, just different. On the contrary, a SOAR education is so much more than a traditional school could hope to give a child. We are all very proud of that.

 

So the results you can expect, may be easy to see on paper at times, but much of the time they won't be evident until you talk to your child, or see them in person at the end of the semester. They are results that are life changing. They are results that will last a lifetime.

Imagine

Imagine an education for kids with ADHD and other challenges where the focus was not simply on grades, test scores, and holding kids to an unrealistic standard,"for them". Rather education for kids with ADHD and other challenges was a dance of sorts, an art, to meet that kid where they're at, and utilize their strengths to let them become the leader, the navigator of their education and their destinies, where success was not defined by a universal and arbitrary standard, but by what each student genuinely needed to call themselves successful, to feel successful. What if we guided students, encouraged them that they can do it, praised them at approximations of their goals, and called that success every step of the way. What great young adults we would be molding. Actually, they'd be molding themselves... And they'd be ok, no they'd be good with that. They'd be at SOAR. Some of them already are...The rest of the country would never go for it. It's so much easier to give a test....

I Didn't Know The Academy at SOAR was A Full Year School Program

SOAR is a full year school program?

The more people I talk to, the more I am convinced that The Academy at SOAR is education's best kept secret. That isn't necessarily a good thing.

If I talk to  people where I live in Charlotte, a mere two and a half hours from our Balsam base, folks have never heard of SOAR. Our Science and Math teacher Aaron says he has talked to folks from Waynesville, North Carolina, about 15 minutes from us, and many of them have never heard of us, or at best say they've heard of SOAR but have no idea what we do.



As Cool Hand Luke once said, "It seems as though what he have here is a failure to communicate," or to market to say the least. SOAR has been around in various incarnations since 1977. That's 35 years give or take, and some of the neighbors don't know who we are.

So we get the message out that SOAR exists, and that we're a great thing for kids. That's a start. But some don't know that SOAR has The Academy at SOAR, a full time, full year academic program for grades 6 to 12. " Well I thought you were just a semester program. I didn't know you offered a full school year program." " I wish you offered a school program for multiple years."

Looks like I've got to be the one to let the cat out of the bag. SOAR and The Academy at SOAR is a full year, fully functional, very successful academic program for students grades 6 - 12. We offer individualized, differentiated approach designed to meet students where they are at, and take them where they want, and need to go.

"Well that's fine and good, Mike, but why should I send my child to The Academy at SOAR for a whole school year?"

I'm so glad you asked that question.

For any student, in any program, transition is a challenge. For students with special needs and challenges like ADD/ADHD or learning disabilities, transition can be overwhelming, and, not planned and implemented with care and consideration, can be devastating.

From an Academy at SOAR perspective, students come in their first semester, and that semester is mainly about learning routines and systems, and a time for teachers to first evaluate first-hand a students strengths and needs. We use this time to get to know your child, what they can and can't do, so that our plan can evolve into what becomes an individualized, differentiated plan for teaching, reaching and learning for your child.

So often, the students I feel I have failed, are the ones who just come for a single semester. Just when we have identified needs, developed systems for meeting those needs, and getting into a groove, it is time for that student to move on to where the family or the student has decided they will go next.

SOAR and The Academy at SOAR is a good safe place for kids. I've often described it as an " Oasis in the desert" for students who haven't found success in other environments. It is a place where it is safe to make mistakes, learn from them. It is a place that accepts students for who they are, values and acknowledges their strengths, while at the same time building up their weaknesses. While the work our instructors and staff isn't magic, it is nothing short of miraculous. I have seen, in the two years I have been at SOAR, students grow so incredibly, academically, socially,and holisitically. Students at SOAR and The Academy at SOAR, are the first students in my 20 + year career in education, who have come up to me, unprompted at the end of a school year, or the end of their time at SOAR and have told me, unprompted, what they have learned, what they have gained, or how they have grown, as a result of their experiences at SOAR.  So perhaps I should just let the students speak for themselves.

So, is it difficult for parents, and their kids, for their kids to be away from home? Definately. Is it a financial commitment to send your child to SOAR, and the Academy at SOAR? Absolutely.

Consider, if you will, the things I have said above, as you make your decisions as to whether or not your child will attend SOAR and the Academy at SOAR for a single semester, or whether you and your child will make the commitment for the school year. As I have stated numerous times, it isn't my job to market our program. It is my job, and my team's job to teach your kids and do everything within my power and skillset to teach them how to learn and how to be successful at school, and enjoy doing it.

Consider the challenges your child may have, once acclimated to SOAR or any other school program for a semester, transitioning he or she out, into an entirely new and different school program. It can't be easy.

I say these things for partially selfish reasons. As an educator it is my job and my passion to make a difference with and for your kids. We, your child and our academic team, work diligently together over the course of the semester. We begin to see the progress, and the success that has the potential to turn into those happy endings, of things learned and gained and expressed by students, unprompted. Then a student says they are leaving before our work together is finished, it can be a bit defeating for both educator and student. We haven't had the chance to see our efforte bear fruit.

You're neve going to find a school, that treats your child like the individual they are, and caters to what they need, individually to be successful. I say this as a parent of two children who attend public schools. I say, perhaps with a little bias, but as an educator who has worked at several schools over the course of 20 years.

So I completely understand if you miss your child and want and need to have them back at home with you. I can relate to that 100 %. If you make the choice to take your child elsewhere at the end of the semester for that reason, as a parent, I can't and won't argue with you.

I also totally understand, if the financial commitment is too large to bear. It is a tremendous financial commitment, to commit for a school year. If you can't have your child return for that reason, I understand more than you know.

However, if you believe, that moving on at the end of one semester is academically and socially what is the best thing for your child, I would not fight you, but I would challenge your line of thinking.

If you are impressed with what SOAR and the Academy at SOAR is and can do for your child in a semester, imagine what a year can do. I've seen it. I wouldn't press the issue if I hadn't seen the evidence to support my claims.

Thanks for allowing us, at The Academy at SOAR, the opportunity to work with and grow your children.

Mike